Thirty Things I’ve Learnt at Thirty
- Just because you slept with someone it doesn’t mean that they love you.
- If you’re a sexually active woman, always have a spare pregnancy test in your house. There will always be a point where you think your boobs are bigger, you feel a little nauseous and you panic so much that you can’t remember that your period was actually only two weeks ago. So, save your panicked trip to the pharmacy and calm yourself in your PJ’s hovering on the toilet with your dignity fully intact.
Photo by Amber Strocel via Flickr
- That you should always use a condom.
- It’s perfectly acceptable to go out in your pajamas if they slightly resemble sweats.
- If you want to feel comfortable, wear sports clothes and talk loudly to anyone who will listen about how intense your workout was that morning.
- It’s ok to not want children, even if that one person relentlessly tells you that you’ll change your mind – NO I WON’T!
- Quitting your job and going after your dream is scary, but so fucking worth it.
- That there is no way I’ll ever be able to save money.
- It doesn’t matter whether you have a BMW or a 1999 Vauxhall Corsa – either way it’s a fucking car and works.
- If it doesn’t feel right, then it probably isn’t – I’ve wasted a good few years of my life convincing myself that things will get better. They won’t. Run.
- If someone asks why you wear so much makeup just tell them it’s a great ice-breaker for arseholes.
- If you want to spend your Sunday watching YouTube videos in your 5-year-old PJ’s with enough Domino’s pizza for at least 4 people that’s OK. No one needs to be productive every day.
Image by Bolte911 via Wikimedia
- Cut your hair short at least once – if it’s shit you just grow it out and never do it again.
- Cuddle lots of animals. Suddenly the release of endorphin’s that scientists talk about makes sense and you didn’t have to go anywhere near a gym.
- Asking a magic 8 ball to make your decisions will never get old or get you anywhere.
Image by Greeblie via Flickr
- When a man won’t stop calling it isn’t flattery, it is creepy AF.
- Bottling up your feelings will only end up in an explosion and that’s never good – especially when you explode at your boss in a wonderful mixture of yelling and crying.
- If you ever feel the urge to send prospective love interests naked pictures, never include your face…or any distinguishing features.
- If you aren’t earning as much money as other people you grew up with it doesn’t mean you’re any less successful.
- When you look at boy bands and find them attractive…and then look them up on Google to see how old they are. It’s ok, we’ve all been there #louistomlinson
Image by Kulac via Wikimedia
- Pouting isn’t as attractive as smiling in a photo, but dayum those cheekbones are popping so who gives a shit?
- That money really doesn’t change anything. My Dad had a heart attack last year and all the money in the world couldn’t help him – that was a turning point in my ever increasing urge to be rich, now I just want everyone to be healthy and happy.
- You are your number one priority, even if you have children or people that you take care of. You can’t do your best to care for others if you aren’t 100% – look after number one.
- Friends won’t always be able to turn up at your house, people move on and grow, but the ones who are your soulmates are the ones who will be on the phone or send you emails whenever you need them. Friendship is such a beautiful thing; your friends know more about you than pretty much anyone else in the world – don’t let that pass you by.
Guillaume Paumier via Wikimedia
- On that same note, if you have friends that you’re always giving too but never getting anything back then what’s the point? I’ve stopped talking to a few people I’ve known nearly all of my life in the past few years and it was the best decision I’ve ever made. There’s no animosity, it just wasn’t working out. We grew up and grew in different directions which is just the way life goes. We just weren’t meant to be and I have more time to spend on people who care about me as much as I care about them.
- That credit cards, loans and catalogue deals are all just a bad fucking idea – just step away and save yourself the anxiety of it all – unless you can afford to pay that shit back.
Image by Frankleleon via Flickr
- Never become the person who bitches about everyone. No-one will trust you, no-one will ever truly be your friend and, to be honest, everyone will just think you’re a dick.
- Take the time to find your happiness, don’t follow what you believe you’re ‘supposed’ to do – everyone’s story is different, so make your own happy world.
- If you prefer to watch The Kardashians instead of reading Pride and Prejudice you aren’t any less of a person who chooses the latter.
- The biggest thing I’ve learnt is to never be too scared to ask for help. You won’t look weak you won’t look like you’ve failed. You will look like someone who gives a shit about themselves and who wants to succeed.